Do you ever feel like your voice is smothered or doesn’t matter?
I often wonder if this is because we felt that we needed to keep quiet because that was the polite thing to do. Don’t share your honest opinions, don’t be too open, and make sure you don’t be too bold either.
I felt that I always had to keep my voice quiet because either no one cared with what I had to say, or it wasn’t right to be open about my opinions.
Once a few years of college happened, my true personality came out and I became bold in my opinions which is why I’m called, “blunt.” They’re not wrong and maybe I do come across too strong, but honestly, I’m proud of myself to finally have found my voice to share what I think. I can probably share in a better way, but I’m glad I gave that little girl in me a voice when she didn’t have one. I am still working on this as always.
I often wonder if you felt the same way. Do you feel like you can’t share your real feelings or opinions?
I feel this now. I sometimes share how I feel straight up even if it’s not pretty sounding or it’s kind of cynical. I share what’s on my heart and mind and I often don’t feel valued in the Christian community by this. I feel that I must share only positive things because how dare I say something negative when the “Lord is my joy.” Well, sometimes I’m not full of joy. Sometimes I am just not myself and I’m not feeling well. I sometimes feel super anxious or depressed. I feel a lot always, but I would say that the Christian community rarely makes it safe for people to be straight up honest. They fail to make it safe to share our doubts and questions. We must put on a smile when we share so we aren’t too negative. We are shamed for our blunt honesty or our true thoughts. So, we learn to put on a mask of performance that everything is okay because that’s an easier way to live. I would even be as bold to say that this is because of older generations that haven’t taught us with how to be real or to be vulnerable.
I’m not here to bash the Christian community, I’m here to stir us on to do better. I want better for us. I’m so sick of the filtered, “good” Christian talk. We’re humans, we can’t simply always be doing “fine.” We need to talk about how we are doing. If we aren’t doing well then own that. If you’re struggling with a sin, let’s talk about it! It starts with us to be that safe place. Nothing shocks God when we share so maybe we shouldn’t be so shocked. I think by how we hide from being real with people, we do the same with God.
We hide ourselves with our own Father who knows everything. I do this too! He wants the real us with our raw emotions. He can take it all.
I’m sorry if you have felt that your voice doesn’t matter. Please know that it does. I do want to encourage you to find that safe place to share and if you don’t have one then be that person. See how the trend starts.
Also, I’m not saying to shove your opinions in people’s faces. I’m just saying please do share how you are, please share your opinions in a thoughtful way, and please do be honest.
Here are some practical ways to do this for those of you, like me, who love practical steps:
When someone asks how they can pray for you, straight up say what you need prayer for. How can people pray for if you stay SILENT.
When someone asks, how are you? Say how you FEEL. (I need this.)
When people start talking about something that you disagree with then politely and boldly say you disagree. Have a healthy conversation! Your opinion matters too, and people need to hear other perspectives. No one likes a person who always thinks they’re right so make sure that you are open to listen to what they have to say.
When you’re feeling terribly, and someone asks if you need anything? Say yes, I do need some help with this or that…
When someone shares how they really are doing, don’t throw advice at them or optimism. Just sit with them in that and maybe even try to relate to them. Be understanding if you can.
Listening is so important just as sharing your opinion. There needs to be both of this. Not one or the other. The dream is people doing both true listening and being real!!
You’re not bad for being real and honest. The world needs more of this.
Comments