Last time, I wrote on here I was sitting in my house in the Midwest. My husband and I uprooted our whole lives and took a leap of faith to move 12 hours away from all we knew. I’m not writing this blog to explain why we moved because that would personally feel like I need to justify our decision. I’m writing to you to share the story of taking a huge leap of faith.
I knew deep down that I didn’t want to live in the midwest forever. I accepted it as home for the time-being. A place of growth, healing, facing challenges, maturing, and finding my voice. It was literally all it needed to be and I’m grateful for that.
My husband found a house while scrolling on Zillow in the south (near the coast) and I instantly loved the photo of this home. It’s what I’ve dreamed of. I didn’t think this would be real but here I was looking at it. We didn’t think it would be possible. It just seemed unlikely and wishful thinking. We weren’t sure how any of this would work. I had hit a wall in life (again) and I knew something had to change. Things couldn’t stay the same anymore for many reasons. I personally am not afraid of change. I don’t know why that is, but I personally enjoy healthy changes. I wasn’t scared of taking this leap to move. This felt like a huge adventure. Well, it was and more…
We decided to go for it and visit the house in February. We got in the car and drove twelve exhausting hours. Forty minutes before we arrived at our hotel, we found out the house was sold. My husband held onto trusting God while feeling discouraged, knowing there had to be some purpose for why we just drove there even though we had never been to this town before. As usual, I reacted differently. I was angry. I was frustrated at God. I’m not ashamed to say that because it’s healthy to express emotions to God and to express them in a safe place. I do wish that wasn’t my first response, and that I could easily run to God trusting. Yet, I’m human with a full spectrum of emotions just like you. I was stunned thinking, “Why did we do this drive? Were we insane…was I insane?” I became very discouraged.
That night we prayed numerous times for a miracle that IF God wanted to live in this house that he would remove the contract of the person who put an (accepted) offer on this house. I felt discouraged, but I held onto a tiny piece of hope. I tried to believe by faith that God would do this. I felt the strength of God as I prayed even though I was tired. I held onto my mustard seed size of faith amongst my feelings. I chose to keep moving forward by faith even if nothing made sense.
This was a random location without knowing anyone at this place. That somehow didn’t scare me. I knew we could find people anywhere. I was most afraid of getting too attached to my dreams, that the dream would get ripped right out from under my feet, and that people would think we’re dumb (I am a recovering people pleaser).
The next morning we woke up and got ready to tour the house even though it was sold. An hour before our tour, we found out that person no longer wanted to live in this state anymore. This house could literally be ours now. Once we found out, I felt completely shocked. I was in awe that God literally answered my prayer. I (we) asked for a miracle and He did it! I had never lived out a miracle in my face before like this. My thought was, “God might actually want us to live here? It wasn’t random or even dumb?”
We put an offer on the house that day. Our house sold within a few days after that. The buyers of our home actually stuck throughout the process. God provided the finances. Our moving date got pushed back a week so we were sort of homeless for over a week, but God provided places to live. He even gave us a couple to live with for a few days. We moved into our home in on April 9th.
We are here. God did this.
I remember saying in my head a few months ago, “It would take the hand of God to make this happen.” I said this when I was feeling like there was no way we could move after all we went through in the in-between. It was so so emotionally exhausting. We had no control and no wonder our anxiety flared up. I heard God respond to my statement with, “Isn’t that the whole point?” I responded with, “Yes, of course this is the point!” It’s all so that God would get the glory and we wouldn’t. When I’m telling you that it would take the hand of God to make all the details to come together to move, this only would work out if God made a way! So many factors did not seem possible. We were looking at the probable cost like Phillip did before Jesus was about to perform the miracle of multiplying the fish and loaves. Phillip thought logically there was no way that they could feed 5,000 with only five loaves and two fish. Jesus was testing his faith to see if he believed that Jesus could make a way when ,logically, it seemed like there was no way. We lived in the logical part of our brains many times with thoughts that there was no way this could happen…right? That’s why it took His POWER, PROVISION, and STRENGTH. It took us having faith and trusting. Two things I struggle with the most even though my name literally means to have trust and devotion to the Lord. We held onto our mustard seeds of faith and watched God literally move mountains. None of this was by our power, but literally just by taking blind leaps of faith.
God made a way when it felt or seemed like there was no way. He paved roads on rough terrain. He moved mountains that we thought weren’t possible to move. He challenged us in our faith. He made it to where all we could do was rely on Him. He stayed by us even when we couldn’t feel him…even when I questioned His good nature and intentions.
Our home became a home before we even moved in. When I wake up, I look out at our garden and think, “I’m here because of God. He did this.” I think that’s why it’s more special being here. He listened to our frustrations for so long and He took care of the rest. He answered our longings too.
Being here isn’t all perfect because on this side of heaven, nothing will be perfect. Yet, being here is what I needed for so long. It still doesn’t feel real that I’m here. I’m waiting for it to sink in, but I’m thankful to God for answering our bold and quiet prayers. He does care even about things that don’t feel like they’re that important. This season showed me a new part of God, that he cares about our dreams even though I’ve heard He doesn’t. I think He does now.
So with that said…go dream with God. Keep dreaming and don’t give up on them because of a lack of faith. Believe by faith that if God sees it fit, He will make it to come to pass. Keep praying and holding onto faith. Watch God and see what He will do even if nothing makes sense.
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